Sitting at my Ono Sendai


This is not a Yak bite
March 28, 2007, 2:19 am
Filed under: thoughts | Tags:

and I am NOT a mad cow! The disco ball is spinning but there is no one home. The thoughts are flying but very little is to be said. My head is annoyed, my body is tired, my mind is elsewhere, my heart is leaking, my knee is bleeding and my fingers are typing. Existential, true, useful? Not at all.

I am going to PAX OMGWTFBBQ! It will be the coolest thing ever, it will also be something to look forward to all summer, that and C++ and Cocoa and shiny. BUT OMFG MC Frontalot, Optimus Rhyme, Freezepop and JONATHAN COULTON!!!!11 My battery is back, my brain can now go places (at the speed of light? no, not yet). A deliciously cryptic 251 assignment was posted tonight, I tried to provide insight, but I think I may have failed horribly. Great theoretical ideas in computer science? Right, more like “Let’s see how immature von Ahn can get”. Some guy just said “Let’s go pitch a tent” on the TV, I thought dude, what you do with your morning wood in the woods is your own fucking business.

I have gone crazy, I will now proceed to catching thoughts and typing them out. Zombies are cool, I roll with the undead, until their heads roll. If you take a picture of a zombie, do you steal it’s soul? How did Theresa know of my obsession/paranoia/general concern of the undead? I may have said it like once. Hmm, no, not possible, moving on. Thought.next. WHAT? null?! wtf…oh wait…it’s a circular linked list…wow, who the hell would be sadistic enough for that? Oh…RIGHT…HIM. HE WHO SHALL NOT BE NAMED! *cough*vonAhndemort*cough* So I’m getting increasingly discouraged to read the last couple Potter stories, I haven’t read the last one and from what I hear JK Rowling has gone insane and desperate and fooled around with a piñata. In earlier news, a piñata admits to having been part of a Portuguese Breakfast, said piñata will not reveal the place, number of eggs, name of woman *cough*JKRowlingdoessomefreakyshit*cough*, or the name of the emu. Piñata was not available for further questioning as we had to hit it repeatedly with a bat.

If you give a mouse a cookie, he will want some milk…well…does the converse hold? If you give him milk, will he want a cookie? Those books are all about recursion I tell you. I miss Alan, he will be sorely missed at KGB. I need to read more books, see more movies, enjoy more music. I live life through meaningless pop culture *waves flag* woohoo life. LaTeX is Turing complete, that’s hot, I might need a moment alone with LaTeX. Oh yea, you’ve been a naughty typesetting language. Badness 10000? More like, Kinkyness 5000 (2 units of badness per unit of kinkyness).

Trying is pointless, vivir es imposible, pinche vida, por suerte tengo amigos para pasarla bien. Something beautiful must be destroyed, otherwise the world will kooyanisqatsi on yo’ ass. *points* This has no point, you’re still reading? Impressive, what’s your name (all 6 of them), number, operational complexity and objective hotness (on a scale from 0 to 9000, yes….it cannot be over 9000, suck it Vegeta). So I had this dream about a succubus, let’s just say it was hot, don’t remember her name. Wham Bam, thank you succubus (hmm, doesn’t rhyme with either wham or bam). If you begin to think you’re no better than a monkey…just think about this: “Who’s got the banana now, bitch?” Dios es peruano, no sabias? Caería bien un rico cevichito ahorita, algo pa’ despertar los animos. Y una chelita, uyy que bien.

“You will soon find something lost long ago.” What? A heart? I keep losing that. I only get back shards. You know what? Why the hell are you so dramatic? Suck it up kid, life sucks, you should have understood that by now, just be grateful you have someone to share it with at the moment, I don’t even have that. You can do things, everyone can, you may have not found what yet, but I’m sure you can, it’s why we have faith in you. If you need our help, get over it, ask us, we can only try, who knows, we might even help more than you think.

*pokes at knee, winces* it’s just flesh and blood, it will heal. We can rebuild it, we have the technology. Also, I’m not going anywhere, what’s the rush? I’ve gotten into the nasty habit of hunching over again, I should have someone stand on my back, I hear that works. Or swimming, swimsuit season is coming up girls, remember, just because the commercial entities that be want you to starve yourself and look skinny, that doesn’t mean you should.

There’s no point in having a whistling competition when your mind is made up. You’ll have the pepperoni pizza, hold the anchovies, bacon, sausage, crust, tomato sauce, pepperoni and the mushrooms. Please don’t forget the mushrooms. Is it weird that I’ve read most of Erowid? Heh, permute that and it spells O Weird. Math, drugs, encryption, caffeine, code, scifi, music, zombies, and tin foil hats OH MY.

I keep saying I need to find myself, yet I’ve never looked at a map. This isn’t Kansas anymore right? Where has the time gone? I can’t believe I’m so bad at this life thing, is there a reset button?

Dungeon masters don’t have levels stupid, yes….but dungeons do? I’m confused, this is Euclidean space correct? Honey, remember where we parked, Euclid 2701, ZX vector entrance. My brain is shutting off, or turning on, it’s taking over in the weird way when I have delusions of things I will never have, moments I’ll never live, sunsets I’ll never see. Who does one get to know two? That’s deeper than you think it is, this whole thing is, some of it is very obvious, some of it is very silly. I don’t feel like explaining it all, it would be like explaining how my head works, and my head nor my fingers can do that (do my fingers work magic? another of those things I’ll never know). I’ve gone insane, more so than most, my head has imploded, my cries are not noticed, my words are not heard. I miss the homeland, I miss the people, I miss the element, I miss the night. I should try it sometime; pencil, nose, building. I wonder what would go through my head then?

The enemy’s gate is down, do you push yourself through and win? Or do you get frozen? Think quick. Too late.

And finally,
I am the Lorax. I speak for the trees.
I speak for the trees, for the trees have no tongues.
And I’m asking you, sir, at the top of my lungs–

and then he was interrupted, once again, he noticed this world was not for him, it would not listen, it would not welcome with open arms, and he shuffled off, back to where he came from, not knowing what to do, without a cause, with no heart left. His persistence had worn out, it wasn’t a surprise. Not at all, not with this world.

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1 Comment so far
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o_O…
Dannel, you are full of awesome and win. The angry hamsters with knives currently running through my head salute you thoroughly and resume lemma-ing like lemmings runninig off a clifffffffff!!!

Comment by Kristin




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