Every now and then
s-s-s-static linessssss
like an old TV
exactly like
v¡de0 art if facts.
your eyes send signals
that your brain can’t figure out

“I AM SO NERVOUS
AM I BEING LOUD I CAN’T TELL
DO YOU WANT TO GO OUT WITH ME
I HAD A FEW DRINKS
I DON’T KNOW HOW TO SHUT UP
I AM AN ADULT I SWEAR
DID I MENTION I WAS NERVOUS”

“I’ve been meaning to ask you out but I didn’t know when and where
and I didn’t want to be too forward but you have a really pretty smile
and make me smile this goofy, toothy grin every time I see it,
do you want to hang out sometime?”

“…I…um…ok…see you later…
…
…
…I didn’t get to say anything…”

Ok, so…there’s no way I’m gonna use these all. But I have them! I figured I’d share them.

the best city in the world

Reflecting on the train over the past Thanksgiving weekend, I remember visiting New York exactly a year before that for the very first time and thinking: “who the hell could live in this place?”. Me, apparently. So very, very me. I’m still entirely not sure how that happened. I blame my eternal fascination for the sheer urbanity of this here collection of boroughs. I think my biggest fear before moving here was drowning in the sea of people and feeling really alone. In fact, other than my sister, I could only really say I would have trusted one person I knew here. That actually brings me to my next header tag…

chipbros

I had met Anamanaguchi at PAX09, they seemed like pretty chill bros, I even applied to be their bro intern at some point. ANYWAY, my first month here, I went to a monthly show called Pulsewave expecting to hear some pretty cool music. I’ve since gone to more chip shows than I can remember and met some of the coolest, friendliest people ever. For a while there, I was going to a show or two every weekend. I like this community, there are some incredibly genuine, incredibly talented people being awesome. And I took goob’s advice about being awesome to heart.

working like it’s not work

I remember being worried and panicked. Even the first month or so at Etsy was kind of trial-by-fire for me. “What am I doing? Do I even know how?” would jump into my head. But then I got into the swing of things, hell, I even gave a talk at my alma mater (with some help, of course). I’ve since been staying at work til 9 or 10 not because I have to, but because I really want to. I’m very excited about what we’re doing and I love the people I’m working with. Is it still a job if you’re enjoying the hell out of it? Either way, I’ve caught my stride. I was crawling out of my seat today because I couldn’t deploy code, so I started mucking about with our IRC bots. I think I just figured out how to make one talk in color, actually, I’m ending this post on that note just so I can tinker around with that.

one more thing

If you’re a friend I haven’t talked to in a while and you’re reading this. Please say hi somehow. I get awful at keeping in touch when I’m excited about things. Most of my contact info hasn’t changed, although you shouldn’t email me at my Andrew account. I actually threw together this page that kind of collects most of the social networks I’m on.

I spent part of this week finding a place in Brooklyn (I found one, it’s cool, you’ll come over for drinks soon, yes, all of you…INTERNET. maybe Bill Murray will be there). I went to Eatsy at Etsy and met more of the totally cool people who work there, I even have plans to fill some of our windows with pixelart!

Riding the subway several times this week just made me super giddy. There’s something extremely magical to me about the fact that you can be most places in the city in very little time. That might seem super strange or lame to some people but I just can’t shake that feeling and most days I get on to that subway car smiling. Maybe it has to do with my recent fascination with public transportation (one of the big reasons I want to visit both Portland and Chicago), maybe it’s me just relishing the sheer urbanosity of the place (screw it, I’m making up words now).

I’m worried about one big thing about moving to New York: geekiness. I’ve enjoyed the comforting awesome that is the KGB but I’m wondering where I’ll get my geeky fix in New York. I really want to run a Spirit of the Century group too. Whatever, for now I’m just going to roll with it and figure it out as I go along.

oh! I learned a cool phrase in Hebrew!

baruch ti’hiyeh, which, as far as I know means “May it be a blessing”. I like it, I’m also of the opinion that blessings are independent of whatever religion they are associated to. It’s hard to probe me for thoughts about religion, that’s usually intentional. I had to clarify to someone who engaged me about Jesus on the subway to the airport that I was happy that they had found their way but that I had gone down that path and seen it wasn’t mine. The person was perplexed, like I had given them the most polite insult possible, they said “well, someone be with you” I said “thanks” and then they got off the train. I don’t know how I got to thinking about this from the Hebrew phrase I learned. Maybe it’s just late.

Soon: I will be in Peru enjoying the company of my parents and laughing with my friends.

Oh, this is my summer jam

the video is appropriate in a weird way

it’s been a while since I tried to put together words. Last time I posted here I got brave enough to finally show the world this, which I had written a while ago and put some finishing touches on that night.

Quite literally the next day, Etsy extended an offer of employment to me. I had just visited their offices in Brooklyn the week before for an on-site interview and hadn’t been able to sleep right all week because of anxiety. I was still talking to several other companies, including Apple (who retroactively said, after wishing me good luck with my future endeavors, “we wanted to hire you but couldn’t find a position in the right department”) but I quickly called it off and said “Thank you for considering me, but I’m going to rock out with Etsy”. I picked up my robot, printed, signed and faxed some papers back to my recruiter/HR person.

I hope I don’t turn into that person who writes a love story to a city, but shit…I think I might have already. Did you play that video yet? You should, because I hope to be on that rooftop someday, listening to music with a bunch of friends. I’m going to find a way, mark my words.

I’m going to have to tell you about my NYC subway musician project eventually, for now, it will stew ever-so-deliciously.

Hey internet, it’s a good time to be alive. :)

[two people walking across a tension grid checking light fixtures and placements in semidarkness, faces lit by the reflection of the lights on the elaborate stage below]

Richard III? RICHARD III?! I hate Richard III! You think the Bard would have stopped at two Richards, but nooo, he had to make a third.

I would correct your horrible misunderstanding, but it’s funnier to see you try. What do you have against Richard III anyway? Some horrible memory of the past?

No, nothing, it’s boring, is what I have against it! What’s the point of the art if no one wants to see it?!

It’s a classic, art for the sake of art.

That’s bullshit, and you know it. Do you realize that most of our patrons are octogenarian couples who have seen this about as many times as the wars they’ve seen?

First of all, that’s kind of harsh. Second…so what? That’s theater for you.

I mean, wouldn’t you once want to make something that your peers could sit, laugh, cry, sigh, gasp, smile and cower at?

What do you mean “our peers”? Our peers are allegedly working on the same thing we are. Unless some of them were told to go home early. Lucky bastards.

No, not like that. I mean people our age, people from the dorms, from the classes outside of this place. Y’know, our generational peers. I want to connect us all.

It’s not going to work, believe you me. Who would you get to write this masterpiece, this definition of a generation? You’re no Billy Idol, and our generation is nowhere as clear cut as Coupland’s X. You’re running out of time, we’re a year and a half away from graduating.

I know, and I…I don’t know…yet. I’m figuring that out. Can you come check out this leko? I don’t think it’s pointing in the right direction.

[fade to black]

[between rows of computers, a red digital clock reads 5:23 am on the wall, a couple of heads can be seen slightly above the computer monitors, no one walks by the door]

You’re not going to get it to compile by staring at it…

I call shenanigans on this assignment, and every other assignment we’ve done in our college career.

Bit late for that, isn’t it? Why now? Why our compiler? Emphasis on the ‘our’ part.

Because we’ve done nothing useful. That’s why. I mean, we’ll finish this, as we have all those other things, but it doesn’t feel useful.

I’m sure our professors carefully thought through the didactic purposes of each line of code. Except this one, which isn’t working. Oh…that might be why.

Nono, it’s not that. I’ve felt like I’ve learnt a great many things but I haven’t done anything.

define: “done anything”

I’ve yet to make something that someone will actually use.

That’s what our precious little free time is for, remember? I wrote a script to clean up garbage files on the server last week, it’s in my public directory if you want to lo-

No! Not like that, that’s something one of us will use. I want to make something for everyone, and not just because they’ll use it, I want them to take away an experience from their interaction.

Software on it’s own doesn’t do that. You’d have to have something very, very good.

I can’t do it alone, I made up my mind a while ago. I don’t need a programmer, a theorist, or a mathematician. I need a human hacker.

Most hackers are human…do you know something I don’t?

I meant, I need someone to hack humans, to figure out what they want so we can work to give it to them.

An advertiser’s wet dream?

I don’t want to sell them anything though. I just want them to want to be a part of it, to share an experience.

Oh, I think I squashed our bug, see?

Are you even paying attention anymore?

I am however, on my way to Peru for the break, first time back home in a year.

I found this earlier today, made me smile.

“The only people for me are the mad ones, the ones who are mad to live, mad to talk, mad to be saved, desirous of everything at the same time, the ones who never yawn or say a commonplace thing, but burn, burn, burn, like fabulous yellow roman candles exploding like spiders across the stars and in the middle you see the blue centerlight pop and everybody goes ‘Awww!’” – Jack Kerouac

I wrote down a (partial) list…feel free to write yours too.

• the amazing array of things that make me feel pride for my home country
• catching a reference that felt designed just for me
• hugs (giving and receiving)
• that eureka moment when you solve a problem in twelf
• a light mist as if the world were gently weeping, it’s ok, world, it gets better :)
• fine cheese, fine wine, cute girls
• being able to hit that stride on the same beat as the music in my ears as I leave for the day
• solving a puzzle, solving many puzzles, discovering puzzles
• a few TV shows (if only because they find ways to make me smile)
• music I haven’t heard that makes my want to bob my head
• running into an old friend and catching up
• reading unconventional comics
• the rising feeling you can get from a soulful choral arrangement
• seeing people mess up some place I’ve messed up before, proud I’ve learned from my mistakes
• knowing that out there…somewhere…we are all loved

care to share? :)